"Have you ever noticed that what you want is not always what you receive. But the things that you receive always seem to reflect who you are at the time and what you need to help move you forward... Love without bounds, and you will always know love. Travel without limits, and you will always know where you are supposed to be. Accept without knowing, and you will never fear the unknown."
— Steven Marchi
In my healing mission, I have had to let go of my expectations in regards to how I think others and the world should be. Even though we may have the best of intentions when we criticize others, the truth is, and always will be, that no one likes to be judged, told what to do or told that they are doing something "bad" or "wrong." If we really want to impact the world, we must begin by respecting that others are going to do what they do no matter how we may try to influence them.
What we want to look at when it comes to our expectations is the feelings associated with them. Do your expectations cause feelings of worry and frustration or excitement and a healthy urge to get to work on yourself? What is it like when your expectations aren't met? Are you willing to let go and move on or do you shame yourself or blame others? It takes something to engage with our expectations as a mechanism for determining what we are actually "vibing," but this uncommon practice gives us access to choosing something different when we find ourselves in an "ab•usive" relationship with our expectations. Simple, although not always easy, this is how we free ourselves from undue suffering and the "karma treadmill" that is a predictable, mediocre existence.
Life is meant to be a process of constant growth. It is not moving on a linear path. Rather it is experiencing who we are through honoring Process. Passion and purpose result from embracing this truth and allows for expansion beyond perceived limitations.
"Keep on growing!"
Below is a process for manifesting that puts "expectations" in their proper place.
~G.R.O.W. WHO YOU ARE~
1) Gratitude - Practice gratitude! Always. Especially at the moments where this is most challenging. Gratitude acts as fertile soil for growing more of what you want!
2) Release your expectations - This first requires being aware of what your expectations are. And this does not mean making yourself wrong for having expectations. We are talking about releasing your attachments to the way life should be. Meditation is a wonderful practice to facilitate this.
3) Own your view - Instead of being at the effect of life, notice your view. What commentary are you adding? Who do you show up as in life situations? Notice what situations seem to reoccur for you. Be very aware when you hear the word "always" arise in your speaking. This is the time to notice where you are stuck and are missing something that would make the difference.
4) Work - Life is not a "thing." Life is a dynamic relationship that we share with everything around us. To be fully engaged in life, we must be willing to work and not just conceptualize our life situations while trying to effect the world and outcomes. As REsponsible healers, we declare ourselves as the cause for no reason other than we say. And we reject mind patterns of thinking such as analysis, evaluations, concepts and judgments that actually make no difference.
Instead we begin engaging with life as if every step IS the destination. I'm talking about taking the step there is to take and doing the work there is to be done—NOW. Because what truly matters is not so much what you do but WHO YOU ARE BEING while you're doing whatever it is that you are doing. In this sense, work is more a form of FREEDOM and SELF-EXPRESSION rather than just a means of getting something done or getting to a future moment. Trying on this view of life, leaves us with POWER and nothing but opportunities to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE~
And that is what is takes to live an exordinary life that makes all the difference in the world: PRACTICE. Thank you for sharing your profound listening with me today, healer. Now let's get growing!