Day 2

Hi All,

Today is day 2 without sugar.

Last night I did have a snack that had no sugar in it: it was from Rainbow Grocery I believe. It was made with carob, spirulina, sunflower seeds, and was date-sweetened.

It was interesting how I reacted to the food, which was brought to me by a friend. I felt like I was cheating, getting away with something. I felt guilt this morning over eating it as I reflected back on my reaction.

The little square treats tasted really good and I was to share them with three people. Sharing treats is not my strong suit. At first it looked like no one was eating them but me. The other two folks were eating dark chocolate, one of my favorite things to eat. I didn't mind that they were eating chocolate at all because the treats were very satisfying.

I did, however, quash the urge to put a few in the pocket of my sweats so I could have the last bites. I also quashed the urge to go to Rainbow and buy more. Obviously addictive behavior on my part.

I think for now it's best if I stay away from those kinds of foods. This makes me really sad and scared to say, especially in a public forum like this. I just ate two organic apples, a snack I enjoy, but I would be lying if I didn't say I wondered if I went to Rainbow if I would find the carob treats there.

Rainbow may be closed at this hour, but the Candler Park Market is not. There are treats there that I am thinking about tonight. I have to constantly remind myself that the last Ben and Jerry's pint I ate was underwhelming. I wasn't all that. Besides, nothing, absolutely nothing, would satisfy the cravings I am having. Just like an alcoholic: one drink is too many and a thousand drinks aren't enough. Only a higher power can take away those cravings from me. I have to do my part, too, of course, by eating food that is good for me and that will give me sustaining nutrition.

The sugar cravings will ease eventually, I'm sure. I know it's not about willpower, but willingness to turn over my dis-ease to a power greater that myself.

I'm going to bed early tonight so I can get up early to go to the gym. As I sign off tonight, I remind myself: I am giving myself permission to heal.

All the Best,

Andrew.